假如你是李华，即将结束在澳大利亚为期一年的学习，现在你打算将一些不再需要的物品捐赠给当地一慈善机构，请给负责人写一封邮件，说明捐赠原因、物品名称等情况，并约定见面时间。
注意：1.词数100左右；2.可以适当增加细节，使行文连贯。
■编者按
在高考中，英语满分150分，作文25分，占了1/6。
英语作文是重点，也是难点。怎样得高分？洛阳外国语学校英语教师王文婧提醒学生注意三大扣分点：书写，一定要字迹工整、识别度高；结构，文章一定要结构清晰，涵盖题目中包含的所有要点；时态，一定要保持全文时态一致。此外，学生平时可以积累一些优美的句型和词组，为文章增色。
为帮助考生提高作文成绩，本刊特开设《英语作文PK》栏目。11月26日、27日，我市组织了普通高中高三年级尖子生统一联考，也称“尖子生月考”。考试后，我们从市八中和洛阳理工学院附中随机选出4份试卷，请市教育局中小学教研室高中英语教研员席丽巧进行打分并点评。
分数：14分
作者：市八中 高三（3）班 庞哲元
【原文】
Dear Sir or Madam,
I’m Li Hua,an exchange student from China. As the end of the term is coming,I’m going to leave Australia, where I spend one year living and learning.
Before I go,I’d like to donate something about study to you. Some books and pens are included. Also,there will be a basketball. I would appreicate a meeting at your convenience. Will you be avilable at 9:00 am this Saturday?
Looking for ward to your reply.
With all my best.
Yours,
Li Hua
【点评】 本篇作文基本覆盖了题目要求的内容要点，但应用的词汇、语法结构的丰富性、准确性及上下文连贯性有点儿欠缺，书写也不太美观，文中只有80个词左右，显得单薄。文中出现了一些低级错误，如：“available”拼写错误，“appreciate a meeting”“with all my best”“donate something about study”等为汉语式英语。综上，可看出该考生英语写作基础较薄弱。
分数：17分
作者：洛阳理工学院附中 高三（3）班 刘江龙
【原文】
Dear manager of the Love and Give Charity Organazation,
I am a Chinese exchanged student who is named Li Hua.So far I have accomplished my one-year-period study and prepared to come back to my homeland. As I am leaving,I intend to donate some items that I will not use anymore,in order to help those who are in need,bringing a perfect end to my study abroad.
At first,what I want to give away are as follow:my story books,used clothes and a dozen of eggs and milk.Besides,according to my schedule,I would like to meet with you at nine o’clock on the next Friday.If you were busy on the day,I would discuss with you in details.Anyway,I will appreciate it if you can fit me in.
Yours sincerally，
LiHua
【点评】 本文书写规范美观，给评卷人以干净、整洁的良好印象；行文较为流畅，紧扣主题，覆盖了所有要点，表达比较清楚、层次比较分明；能够运用“I would appreciate it if……”等比较复杂的语法结构，能够使用“by far”“accomplish”“intend”等比较高级的词汇。
文中几处表达不够规范准确，例如开头对收信人的称呼“交换生”应为“an exchange student”“in detail”而不是“in details”“sincerely”拼写错误等，特别是错误出现在文章的开头和结尾的关键处，给人以基本功不够扎实的印象，导致不能得高分。
分数：19分
作者：市八中 高三（3）班 夏炜澜
【原文】
Dear Sir/Madam,
I am Li Hua,an exchange student from China. My learning will be finished at the end of July. I’m writing to ask for your help.
I will fly to my hometown as soon as the study is finished. However,I don’t want to pick up too many items to go home. So I’d like to donate something unnecessary for me to you.Here are my clothes,books and even a guitar,Which keeps company with me during my study in Australia.I hope my guitar and other things could help some people who are in need of them.
Could you please come to a cafe stands at the coner of NO.7 street on the next Tuesday 2:00 pm?I’ll give my donations to you.
Thank you in advance!
Yours,
Li Hua
【点评】 本文内容要点齐全，语言比较丰富，结构合理，文字流畅，将题目所提出的要点全部表达清楚，较好地完成了任务。如首段先自我介绍，然后点出写信目的，中间部分说明了捐赠原因、物品名称，最后一段说明约定见面时间等。全文以一般现在时为基调，结构十分明晰，同时句式使用较复杂，多处使用定语从句。
美中不足的是，文中出现了一些表达错误，如“on the next Tuesday 2:00 pm”，还有地方使用了汉语式英语，书写也不太美观。
（刘敏 王晓丹 整理）
